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Being Single: “I made a decision to remain single after I used to be cheated in an 8-year-old relationship”

Nilaabh Saxena, 36, lost his job amid the pandemic but instead of being downtrodden, he decided to work on himself and in the middle of starting a venture of his own. Single for the past 4 years and living with his parents in Pune, we asked Nilaab how his single life is treating him. Here’s a lowdown of our chat.

Does it annoy you when people ask you why you are single?

Weirdly it does! I always wanted to get married and have a loving family because I have seen my own parents who have a beautiful life together. I have been single for the past 3-4 years and the question still bothers me. But now I have kind of resolved to not get into a relationship and I am working on building that wall between such interfering questions and my sanity.

Why do you think singlehood is questioned so much?

Singlehood is in general questioned because people feel that settling down means having a wife/husband, kids, grandkids… a family is what completes an individual in a sense, as per popular belief. I think those who want to remain single, should be given their space and no one has the right butting their nose into anyone’s life.

What are some of the weirdest, funniest questions you have been asked about being single?

My relatives and some friends feel that I am being too picky and arrogant about whom I want as a life partner. And truth be told, anyone would be in today’s world. I have seen couples who had love marriages and crumbled apart within a year after they tied the knot. My own best friend was fooled when he married this girl he was with for a year before marrying. She married him for a green card! I want to enjoy singlehood so I do not care what people ask me now. There are some questions thrown my way that I have become indifferent to, however some do bite you, especially when you look at my past.

Did past relationship experiences play a role in you choosing singlehood? What made you realise or decide that you no longer want a partner?

I was left heartbroken 4 years back and that shook my confidence. I was with her for 8 years and when I proposed to her with a ring, she told me that she was seeing someone else and it had been a few months. I was working, minting money and fit too… My world came crashing down and I was declared clinically depressed thereafter… It took me 2 years to come to terms with what had happened. The pandemic was surprisingly a change for me. I worked on my hobbies, cooked for my parents, worked out at home, spent time with my parents etc. Now I am working on opening my own business, hone my skills, and explore myself.

Any piece of advice for women and men out there who are contemplating singlehood…

Don’t give explanations to anyone. You owe it to no one. Your heart should know what you want, rest can go take a hike.

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